Stop Wasting Time in Men's Groups That Don't Work

You have more friends than most men will ever have, and not one of them is the call you would make at two in the morning.

Take the free GAP Check before you do anything else. It will give you a straight answer on which area of your life is most out of alignment and exactly what has been driving it: https://mogbrotherhood.com/the-gap-check

April 2019. Ryan is on the floor of his office in a full anxiety attack, in the middle of serving the biggest client he had ever landed. Thirteen years a Christian. Helped plant a church. Served as a pastor. In a men's group, a mastermind, and surrounded by good men. Not one of them was the call he made.

That is the episode. Not isolation. Exposure.

Most men do not have a friend problem. They have a rooms problem. The rooms are good, the men in them love Jesus, and every one of those rooms was built for you to report rather than to be seen. A report is a summary of something you already edited. Being seen is a man watching you long enough to notice what you left out.

Ryan walks through the three reasons the room you are already in cannot do this job.

You control the agenda. You decide what walks in before you walk in, so the room only ever meets the version of you that has finished processing. They hear your conclusions. They never hear your middle, and the middle is where the drift lives.
They see a snapshot, not a slope. Nobody can call a slope from a single dot. You did not get here in one decision, you got here one distraction and one compromise at a time, and every individual Wednesday morning you looked fine.
There is no cost to you staying quiet. Nobody follows up. Nobody is there next month to notice you used the exact same words. Until silence costs you something, you will stay silent.

Then the assignment. Pick one man and say one true sentence, something you have never said out loud to another man. Not a testimony. Not the cleaned up version with the lesson already attached. The middle.

Key Takeaways

The armor was not always armor. It started as discipline and wisdom about what a leader can say. Then it hardened. You cannot be known and be armored up at the same time.
Two rooms did the work in Ryan's life. One up on the mountain in 2008, where he stood up in front of 150 men and yelled out unforgiveness. One down in the day to day, where a few older men refused to let him stop at a feeling and kept pressing until he wrote his father a letter. That letter turned his dad into one of his closest friends. Most men have neither room.
If you scroll your contacts and reach the end without finding one man you would say it to, that is not a failure. That is a diagnosis.

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Brotherhood is not optional for men doing this kind of work. The community is free to join and it is full of men who are serious about becoming who God created them to be: https://www.skool.com/men-of-greatness

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